The Wages of Sin are the DMV
By far the most aggravating thing about moving cross-country is dealing with local government—the most troublesome of all being the motor vehicle department. After several mornings of battling baffling websites, decade-long hold lines, and paperwork with inexplicable spaces, I cried out in despair…and then, I had an epiphany. The DMV is a consequence of humanity’s… Continue reading
Groundbreaking: Pride Identifies as Fruit of the Spirit
Los Angeles, June 2021 (because that tends to be where this sort of thing happens) In a moment of laudable boldness, Pride has left its longtime association with the deadly sins and has, instead, announced his real identity as a fruit of the Spirit. “As you know,” said Pride in a recent interview for The… Continue reading
The Master becomes the Student: University Combats Expert Culture
Nowhere, AZ17 July 2020 As schools consider how to reopen in the fall, a revolutionary group of students are demanding not only health accommodations, but a complete change to education altogether—and Northwesteastern Arizona University is listening. One of Arizona’s lesser-known institutions, Northwesteastern University was fortunate enough to continue its ordinary teaching despite COVID-19 closures because… Continue reading
Flat Stanley’s Grown-up Adventure
Remember Flat Stanley? I’m sure many of you reading this are experiencing a burst of nostalgia. “Ah, yes!” you might think, “I remember sending Flat Stanley to my family in Michigan and receiving a cool postcard!” Alternately, I may have accidentally rekindled anger toward lazy relatives who made up excuses for putting minimal effort into… Continue reading
ABC Introduces Groundbreaking Polygamist Season of The Bachelor
20 February 2020 Los Angeles, California In wake of the Utah senate’s recent move to decriminalize polygamy, production staff for ABC’s hit reality dating show, The Bachelor, are struggling to keep up with Utah’s surprisingly-woke agenda. Reality show blogger, entertainment correspondent, and part-time stalker, Kale McBirkenstock, has confirmed that fans can expect big changes for… Continue reading
Progressive Peasant Comes out as “Royal We”
Norwich, England Bleak Midwinter, 1275 Breaking news as progressive peasant, Eustace of Norwich, has bravely come out as the “Royal We.” Eustace is long since deceased, but crews from the BBC just arrived on the scene because they got caught up trying to say “progressive peasant” five times fast. Fortunately, they were able to… Continue reading
Taylor Swift Fan, 23, Continues to Identify as 22
14 November 2019 Los Angeles, California A local young woman’s birthday party took a shocking turn as she announced, in reply to well-wishers’ shouts of “Surprise!” that she was not turning 23 at all, but would rather continue to live her best life as a 22-year-old. “I just couldn’t see myself as a 23-year-old,” said… Continue reading
New Year, New Journal…But how to choose?
One of the great recurring dilemmas of my life is how to pick the perfect journal. Honestly, when it comes time to shop for a new journal, it feels like going on first dates: there are some options that look good but are boring, some that are perfectly nice but no spark, and some that… Continue reading
- Should we be Concerned that Using Music by Bethel and Hillsong is Contributing to our Culture of Immediate Gratification? On Patience and Using CCM Music in Worship
- “Lord, Lord” – A Poetic Reflection on Matthew 7:21-23
- Is Singing Music by Bethel and Hillsong Promoting Peace in the Body of Christ? The Answer is More Nuanced Than You Think.
- Rejoicing with the Truth: Does Using Music by Bethel and Hillsong Generate Genuine Joy in our Churches?
- Is it Loving to Sing Music by Bethel and Hillsong in Our Worship? Reexamining the Debate According to the Fruit of the Spirit Part 1