Our church’s youth group is gearing up for summer camp. I can sense the students’ excitement. The leaders, too, seem to be brimming with eagerness to load up the vans and get on with the games—and Bible study and worship, of course. I have happily helped advertise summer camp in our church newsletter, and I sincerely pray for its success. But I admit that, even as a full-fledged adult with a job, mortgage, and baby, the thought of summer camp causes my shoulders to tense and an odd spike of anxiety to climb from my chest to my throat. Fifteen years removed from my last youth group retreat, my adolescent awkwardness still aches deep in my bones. I almost believe that the Ghost of Ryanne Past is still crying alone in a cabin somewhere in northern Arizona.
I suspect that—no, I am sure that—quiet among the hoards of excited teenagers, there is probably a girl much like me. She wants to be confident, included, and happy, but feels only nervous, lonely, and inexplicably homesick. On the off chance that such a girl (or perhaps her mother) reads my blog, I want to offer a bit of advice, self-conscious introvert to self-conscious introvert.
Realize that Nobody is Paying Attention to You
First, realize that your greatest anxiety—that nobody will notice you—is also your greatest weapon against anxiety. Seriously, nobody is paying that much attention to you, and that’s good news. It means that you can enjoy your time at camp freely. Take a breath. Relax. Nobody but you is bothered by the fact that you forgot your mascara, that the humidity is ruining your hair, or that you don’t have a pair of Miss Me Jeans (or whatever clothes are cool nowadays). Nobody is bothered by your loud laugh, and nobody is thinking about that joke you made that didn’t quite land. Nobody is judging your hand-raising during worship. Nobody thinks you are a know-it-all just because you dared to answer a question during the Bible lesson. Everybody else is just as self-conscious as you are, and they are too busy worrying about themselves to worry about you.
Reject Boy Drama
Second, that boy everyone is fighting over? He’s completely unaware. I remember when I was in youth group, there was one boy that we all had a crush on. I assumed he knew it, but in hindsight, I am pretty sure he was completely clueless. Girls glared at each other and wept bitterly, and it all went right over his perfect blond head.
Let me be totally frank with you, girl to girl: there will always be drama over a boy at summer camp, but you’ll grow up to see that he was basically human potato salad. What do I mean by that? Just that he’s probably great and maybe even the best option at a church potluck, but there are hundreds of potato dishes out there—just ask Samwise Gamgee.
Even if you do develop a camp crush, try to keep things in perspective. Prioritize friendships. Commit to cheering other girls on, not competing with them. After all, they probably feel just as lousy as you do. Someday you’ll laugh about how silly you and the other girls were about the pastor’s son, who was blissfully ignorant of the drama he was causing simply by existing.
Recognize Your Struggle in Others
Somehow, someone else feels even worse than you do. Find that person. Create your own crew. The best cure for feeling left out is to include others. Rather than fretting over your comfort, focus on putting others at ease. Not only will this make you feel better, but it will conform you to the character of Christ who welcomes us—and isn’t that what church summer camp is about?
“Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.” -Romans 15:7, ESV
If you go to camp determined to welcome, include, and champion others, you’ll likely leave with far more lasting friendships than if you spend the week trying desperately to be part of some “in” crowd.
Rest in the Lord
Even if you go to camp resolved to avoid drama and be others-oriented, you may not have a good time. Camp just isn’t for everyone. To be totally honest, I stopped going in my late teens. Youth summer camps are, by and large, designed for the extraverted, athletic, and outgoing. Yes, I should have tried harder to join in the hype, but this bookish girl was never going to be an overly happy camper.
Still, some of the sweetest moments I’ve had with the Lord were at camp. The Lord met with me in the midst of my loneliness and homesickness, and I am confident he will do the same for you. Remember who seemed to attract Jesus the most powerfully? It wasn’t the popular and powerful; it was the people on the outside. Throughout your time at camp, I pray that you enjoy quality friendships and the excitement of being in a new place. But even more than these, I pray that you rest in Christ as your truest Friend and Home.
Ryanne Molinari 