Satire
-
The Wages of Sin are the DMV
By far the most aggravating thing about moving cross-country is dealing with local government—the most troublesome of all being the motor vehicle department. After several mornings of battling baffling websites, decade-long hold lines, and paperwork with inexplicable spaces, I cried out in despair…and then, I had an epiphany. The DMV is a consequence of humanity’s Continue reading
-
Groundbreaking: Pride Identifies as Fruit of the Spirit
Los Angeles, June 2021 (because that tends to be where this sort of thing happens) In a moment of laudable boldness, Pride has left its longtime association with the deadly sins and has, instead, announced his real identity as a fruit of the Spirit. “As you know,” said Pride in a recent interview for The Continue reading
-
ABC Introduces Groundbreaking Polygamist Season of The Bachelor
20 February 2020 Los Angeles, California In wake of the Utah senate’s recent move to decriminalize polygamy, production staff for ABC’s hit reality dating show, The Bachelor, are struggling to keep up with Utah’s surprisingly-woke agenda. Reality show blogger, entertainment correspondent, and part-time stalker, Kale McBirkenstock, has confirmed that fans can expect big changes for Continue reading
-
Progressive Peasant Comes out as “Royal We”
Norwich, England Bleak Midwinter, 1275 Breaking news as progressive peasant, Eustace of Norwich, has bravely come out as the “Royal We.” Eustace is long since deceased, but crews from the BBC just arrived on the scene because they got caught up trying to say “progressive peasant” five times fast. Fortunately, they were able to Continue reading
-
Taylor Swift Fan, 23, Continues to Identify as 22
14 November 2019 Los Angeles, California A local young woman’s birthday party took a shocking turn as she announced, in reply to well-wishers’ shouts of “Surprise!” that she was not turning 23 at all, but would rather continue to live her best life as a 22-year-old. “I just couldn’t see myself as a 23-year-old,” said Continue reading
-
Nation’s Organists Rally to Fight Stereotypes as Halloween Draws Near
9 October 2019 Los Angeles, California Nearing the middle of October, spooky season is in full swing and Halloween celebrants across the nation are gathering their pumpkins, brooms, and ominous soundtracks in preparation for their night of revelry. Halloween has long been a time of community, of neighbors sharing chili on the front porch, children Continue reading
-
Poll: Best Part of Movies are Concessions
PHOENIX, ARIZONA- Polling of consumers leaving a current blockbuster film reveal that the best part of the movies are, indeed, the concessions. “But we don’t just mean popcorn and jumbo sodas!” said customer relations director Jack Hughs. “It turns out that the concessions made by viewers are what allow them to enjoy almost any Continue reading
-
____________ Publishers Release New “Mad Lib” Editions Just in time for Holidays
NEW YORK, NY- Prominent journal and book publishing company formerly known as Weakly Publishers has changed its title to “________ Publishers” in light of their new initiative, the ‘Mad Lib Editions.’ Books and journals formerly published by this company will be reprinted in new, special edition ‘Mad Lib’ format during this holiday season. Or, should Continue reading
-
Knox Knock: Protestant Parents Reform Halloween Door-to-Door Tradition
OCTOBER, 2017: SCOTTSDALE, AZ As families of children and teens work together to plan their annual Halloween festivities, one family is changing up their traditions, or, rather, continuing those began 500 years ago. “We don’t celebrate Halloween,” said Mrs. Geneva Knox, mother of four, as she welcomed reporters into her home, sharing both insights and all Continue reading
-
Students Starve as College Cuts Pizza from Menu
Tens of students at a local college are suffering from varying degrees of starvation as the school dining service recently decided to cut pizza from its daily meal offerings. “I just don’t know what else to do,” sobbed one student, his stomach growling in agreement. “I mean, what am I supposed to do? I’ve been Continue reading
-
Family Mistakes SoCal University for Resort: Stays for a Week
Friday, February 24, 2017: A family of four awoke to the terrible realization that what they thought was a luxury resort was actually a university. “When we did not receive a wake up call for our yoga class, we knew something was wrong,” said Açai McBirkenstock, wife of Chase McBirkenstock and mother to daughters Kale Continue reading
-
Student to Sue State University over Conservaphobic Practices
Frustrations are on the rise at one California university as students and unrelated activists alike fight to end an attack on student choice. The Second University of Southern California has long held to its liberal values; it is a place known for its lack of enforcement of all antiquated ideologies, which administrators boast promotes a Continue reading
Recent Posts
- Gift Ideas for Worship Musicians
- Celebrate Jane Austen through Careful Quoting
- In Celebration of Jane Austen’s 250th Birthday
- Salt & Light
- Last Things First: November–December 2025
Subscribe for Free
Support
If you enjoy Ryanne’s work and would like to keep the music playing and words flowing, consider buying her a coffee using the button below.
Social Media
Ryanne Molinari 