Preliminary Findings of the (Not So) Tortured Poets’ Department

Date: April 19, 2024
Department: The Not-So-Tortured Poets’ Department
Location: Undisclosed
Document Status: Declassified, for Immediate Release to the Public

We of the Not-So-Tortured Poets’ Department have reviewed the evidence brought before the world at exactly 12:00 a.m. this morning by one Miss Taylor Swift. To put it simply, we are concerned, not merely for the plaintiff’s wellbeing, but by the potential precedent set by this groundbreaking, high-profile case.

First of all, objective jurors must ask: is the plaintiff presenting her case or crying for help? The evidence submitted is troubling, testifying to grievous treatment as well as a troubled soul. Already, “Swifties” are obsessing over the plaintiff’s evidence, creating a social media storm as they take her side and embrace her case as their own.

But, those of us at the NSTPD wonder…is this wise? The plaintiff’s evidence and statements—in the form of an album—have been met primarily with admiration, which her creativity and prolific output certainly warrant. However, many of her statements and their overall grim timbre ought to elicit more pity than praise, as well as concern and even caution. Accordingly, we of the NSTPD ask ardent fans: is listening to this most recent album cathartic or indulgent? Might it actually augment or synthesize depression?

Our concern for the plaintiff also leads us to ask: At what point will she not just sing, “I’m the problem, it’s me” but act accordingly? If, as her lyrics state, she desires stability, fidelity, and normalcy, is she willing to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve those aims—to stop behaving in certain ways or, more to the point, to stop dating certain types of men?

Or is her desire for a stable love strong enough to inspire album after album, each more despairing than the last, but never substantial change?

The NSTPD is, on the whole, saddened by Miss Swift’s newest album, but not for the typical reasons. We empathize with her sorrow over lost love, but we are even more grieved by her prevailing lostness. We acknowledge, with heavy hearts, that she is unlikely to find the love she seeks until she surrenders to a higher love.

On the other hand, though, we are oddly encouraged. Our department is largely overlooked. We are few in number and in followers. And yet, though our personal ambitions may be thwarted, the evidence brought forth by Miss Swift proves this disappointment to be, largely, a good thing. We are not touring or breaking records, but we daily enjoy our spouses, our families, our homes, and the peace of our relative anonymity.

While many of us in the NSTPD once dreamt of a life akin to that of the plaintiff, we are convinced now that we are better as we are. She has much of what we do not, but we have what she seemingly cannot: enduring peace.

Ultimately, the NSTPD exists not to tear down outsiders but for the examination and edification of its members: we who worship the Wounded Word.

How, then, having listened to Miss Swift’s testimony, are we to live? We will not spend time debating whether we should listen to her music or not. Such conversations are worthwhile, but this briefing is not a witch trial. Rather than raking the plaintiff across the coals for not upholding standards she does not subscribe to, it is more productive to examine ourselves and to be renewed in appreciating our ordinary, happy lives. We should also be motivated to intercede on the plaintiff’s behalf and on behalf of all those who are seeking peace where there is no peace.

In the meantime, having reviewed the evidence and testimony of Miss Swift, we are resolved to continue to write poetry and sing songs as contented members of the Not So Tortured Poets’ Department. At the risk of sounding like a youth pastor trying too hard to be relevant, we know the Tortured Poet, but he beckons us toward life, joy, and contentment in him. The evidence brought forth by Miss Swift is confirmation of what we already knew to be true: all is vanity and chasing after the wind. Truly, our love and our poetry will prove short-lived and unsatisfying if they live not first in him.