Church Body Dysmorphia

I can still feel the discomfort. Standing in my junior high school’s bathroom, turning back and forth, growing increasingly anxious as I look in the mirror. I flex and pose in my Aéropostale jeans. Surely, I think, my right leg is thicker than the other. Surely everyone can see it. Maybe if I only do single-leg lunges I can even it out? Maybe it’s my outfit, but it looked that way yesterday, too. Maybe it’s the mirror? Nope, it’s the same over here as well.

I knew even at the time that I was being ridiculous, but my fourteen-year-old mind was made up: I was lopsided and uncool and it was quite possibly the end of the world. I suspect nearly every woman has memories like this—of scrutinizing her body beyond all rationality before it has even had time to develop fully. As I’ve confessed in other blog posts, body dysmorphia struck me fast and hard, and it took me far too many years to see through its lies.

As much as I lament the time I wasted worrying over my appearance, understanding and navigating body dysmorphia has provided some useful ministry insights. The church, after all, is repeatedly described a body and I have found that “church body dysmorphia” is a common ailment.

Definition & Diagnosis

The UK’s National Health Services define body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) as “a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others. People of any age can have BDD, but it’s most common in teenagers and young adults.”¹

This is a helpful definition. It communicates a few key diagnostic details for noticing and combating body dysmorphia—in ourselves and in our churches.

1. Body dysmorphia is a mental illness.

When I stood before the mirror staring at my legs, the problem was not really with my hamstrings. It was in my mind. Body dysmorphia is due more to mental fixation than physical deformity. Consequently, it cannot be cured through merely physical means. Doing extra lunges on my left side could, perhaps, have balanced my legs, but it would not have stabilized my mental state. True healing had to begin, as Scripture suggests, with the renewing of my mind (Rom. 12:1–2). To view my body properly, I had to think differently.

When it comes to overcoming church body dysmorphia, we must all pursue the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2:16). We are to think as Christ, our Head, would think: according to the spirit and not the flesh. This means that we we look beyond our needs and wants. We remember that our favorite ministry is not our church’s only ministry. We overlook perceived slights. We endure logistical inconveniences with patience and good humor. We seek to serve rather than to be served. We think rationally about resources. We give our leaders the benefit of the doubt.

In short, when we think about our churches, our first instinct must be to do so with gratitude and charity—not grumpiness and cynicism. Why? Because this is how a level head thinks of its body parts, and how Christ thinks of his beloved Bride.

2. Body dysmorphia is concerned with trivialities.

Next, notice that body dysmorphia is characterized by excessive concern over appearances—not actual injuries or illnesses. Body dysmorphia tempts us to pick at pimples while bleeding out from a gunshot wound.

Just so, church body dysmorphia distracts us from serious issues by immersing us in petty conflicts. It’s griping that our pastor didn’t pay us enough attention between services without considering that he might have been shepherding another member through a tragedy or solving a last-minute logistical crisis. It’s arguing over carpet colors or facility use while ignoring doctrinal and moral drift.

So, how do we fix this? The quickest cure for my body-focused anxiety was—believe it or not—more anxiety. Or, at least, anxiety over more important things. Scripture calls us to “be anxious for nothing,” but there is something to be said for letting a serious fear cast out a silly one. In fact, Scripture warns against lesser worries but commends anxiety—careful concern—over “the things of the Lord” (Phil. 4:6; 1 Cor. 7:34).

When I went to college, for example, my fear of not having the energy to excel in my coursework superseded my fear of gaining the freshman fifteen—which, for a very twiggy 18-year-old, was a healthy thing to do.

For church body dysmorphia, we must consider: Are we too busy examining our fingernails to check on our cardiovascular health? Are we obsessing over our individual comfort and preferences or concerning ourselves with the growth, longevity, and health of our churches as a whole? In moments of frustration, we must discern whether we are thinking big enough.

3. Body dysmorphia is a subjective struggle.

No matter how many times I complained about my body as a teenager, my friends could not see what I saw. Even if they did, they certainly did not see my “flaws” as significant.

Similarly, in the church, we can become consumed with individual grievances that may not be as severe or intentional as we imagine. We may feel that our needs are being purposely ignored. We can stew on perceived slights and become soured toward others. We can become curved-in on ourselves.

That said, when we are frustrated with our church, we need to bring others into the conversation—not to gossip but to determine whether we are thinking properly. We should seek insight beyond ourselves and, ideally, beyond our immediate circle. It is tempting to find confidants who will agree with us no matter what, but it’s crucial to find people who will challenge, if necessary, and correct you.

It is also worth seeking objective information in place of your subjective perspective. When I was struggling with dysmorphia surrounding my weight, the best thing was to see a healthcare professional who could show me metrics proving that I was, in fact, healthy. In the church, too, it is helpful to seek out concrete information. Once, a church attendee began circulating false claims about our ministry engagement, causing ripples of trepidation and doubt among other members. She likely did not intend to be untruthful; she was simply sharing her perspective. But her perspective did not align with reality and church records—carefully kept and checked over the years—readily disproved her claims and dispelled the impending storm.

4. Body dysmorphia is most common during seasons of growth.

Have you noticed that those who struggle the most with body dysmorphia are young? This isn’t to say that adults don’t—most of us will always have some grievance with our messy, quirky, uncooperative bodies. But body dysmorphia hits adolescents particularly hard.

Church body dysmorphia is no different. It will always be a problem this side of eternity, but it is definitely at its worst during seasons of growth. That is why I felt the need to share this post now. Our church is about to enter a season of rapid and uncomfortable change—not unlike adolescence. We thank the Lord that our church has been growing and praise him for providing the means to expand our sanctuary. But we are also aware that this season of development is going to be painful. It already has been.

Although we are trying to make the expansion process as smooth and unobtrusive as possible, our routines will be disrupted. We may have to live without our favorite parking spot. Our ministries may have to meet in different spaces. We may need to arrive earlier to find a seat—or sit right beside strangers without a buffer seat! As our church body matures, we, as members, will be affected. We will feel tired at times, like a teenager who falls asleep in class because his growth is outpacing his energy. We will have to endure one another’s pain as we are stretched beyond our comfort zones, like a child whose muscles ache as her bones lengthen. There will be awkward moments, as when that first acne breakout strikes. But we must be prepared to adjust, remembering that this is a unique season and it is for our good. Maturing is painful, but necessary.

I encourage you to read Ephesians 4:9–16. In this passage, Paul writes about how the church is meant to grow into a unified, mature body. But Paul is not naive. He knows this process will require discernment, sacrifice, and patience. It requires every member to do his or her work properly, and to look to the health of the body as a whole.

Although body dysmorphia strikes the hardest during adolescence, the way to overcome it is not to avoid but to press into the discomfort of development. To get over body dysmorphia—in ourselves and our churches—we must grow up.

Summarizing Symptoms & Solutions

To recap, I want to summarize how a proper understanding of body dysmorphia can instruct us in combating “church body dysmorphia,” which might be defined as follows: “a spiritual condition that arises when church members spend a lot of time worrying about trivial grievances. These concerns tend to be personal and subjective, rather than holistic and objective. Churches of any age and size can suffer this disorder, but it’s most common during seasons of growth and transition.”

I hope the following statements help you think properly about your church membership, and seek to care for your church as a unified, functioning, beautiful body rather than simply a collection of parts.

Because body dysmorphia is a mental issue, we treat church body dysmorphia by thinking with the mind of Christ.
Because body dysmorphia is concerned with trivialities, we treat church body dysmorphia by concerning ourselves with serious matters and the things of God.
Because body dysmorphia is self-focused and subjective, we treat church body dysmorphia by seeking objective insight and information.
Because body dysmorphia is common in seasons of growth, we treat church body dysmorphia by pressing through discomfort for the sake of maturity.

Our bodies can be aggravating, but God created us as embodied creatures and declared this to be good. Likewise, church life can be strenuous and uncomfortable, but God has called us to this corporate life for our good. Rather than living like self-conscious teenagers, let’s make the most of our church membership. Let’s seek to think with the gracious mind of Christ, to concern ourselves with what truly matters, to pursue rationality and accountability, and to endure growing pains with patience and perspective.